All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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