What did we do last night that was yellow?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i think im in europe. pls send help
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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