Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
