We're facebook friends in real life
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
