i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
