Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
