i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
