apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
