the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
