cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
