I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
