I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I believe in your delicious
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
