Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize