I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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