i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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