Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
