I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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