I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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