Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
