I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
