He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
