We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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