And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
