and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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