may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
