Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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