um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
