Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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