smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
