Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish you could order shots online.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A bitchslap is in order.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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