and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I bet he comes in French.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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