I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Never underestimate the power of titties
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