Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
