Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
