Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
