so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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