i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
