I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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