People in love make me want to vomit
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize