sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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