Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
