Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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