I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
