My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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