The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
