i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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