The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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