Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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