It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The best revenge is premature balding
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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