dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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