I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
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I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize