I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
