I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
