I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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