I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
