wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
