In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
