May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She bit a glass in half.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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