He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
