have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
