You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We need to get me chipped asap
I would fuck him just for his dog
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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