I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
