We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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