yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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